Archive for May 18th, 2009

posted by admin on May 18

Your immortality does not rest in some genetic relay race. What you give to this world will not be measured in amounts of DNA. Remove this “pass it on” motive from your problem and you will have less stress.

There are no magic postures for fertility. No matter what you may have heard, there are no secrets about fertility. Mutually pleasing sexuality and intimacy are important, however, and constant focus on fertility can rob your marriage of sexual joy and closeness. Talk with your doctor about the timing issue and make sure he or she is aware that you would also like to have sex as well as have a baby, have fun as well as fertility, to maintain your loving.    

Imagery helps. It is not just pop psychology to suggest that the mind is a powerful instrument for change. Both of you must enjoy the imagery of a child, not the focus on a problem, on succeeding. Talk “as if,” think of “when,” not “what will we do if we fail.”

Speaking of failure, it is important to be realistic. Sometimes, for reasons that are not always understood, couples do not have their own biological children. Planning for a future? together, for growth and joy and optional ways of parenting or giving back to the world, is important not as a surrender strategy, but as a viable if not the most desirable option.

Sometimes, in the focus on fertility, we forget the holistic approach to general health. While there are no magic vitamins or diets that automatically improve fertility, sound nutrition, exercise, prayer or meditation, balance between working and playing, and a large dose of laughter can help anything. Don’t forget these factors in your focus on fertility.

Sometimes, rarely, there are underlying marital or individual psychological problems that get in the way of, not prevent, pregnancy. For both the husband and the wife, unresolved marital and personal problems should be addressed in counseling. I’m not suggesting that personal psychological problems cause infertility. It’s just good common sense to look to your own and your partner’s own general life philosophy and happiness without blame but with support and interest in personal and relationship development.

Some of the steps in Chapter Eight have been very popular with the fertility couples. You may want to open up your own sex clinic and have some fun. You deserve it. Fertility counseling tires you out, angers you, and lets you down. I close this chapter with a report from one of the wives in the fertility program that summarizes the health and sexuality relationship.

*291\97\8*

posted by admin on May 18

Men have two “areas” that are particularly responsive to sexual stimulation. Take time now to find these areas for yourself.

In the privacy of your bedroom, with the door locked, lie side by side naked as a couple. With the husband’s and the wife’s hand, find the little piece of skin that is on the underside of the penis running from the coronal ridge, the edge of the mushroomlike top of the penis, to the penile shaft. In uncircumcised men, it will be necessary to pull the foreskin out of the way gently to find this piece of skin. This is the frenulum, or F area, one of the most erotic of sexual areas for men. During intercourse, this area is typically deeply within the moist and warm vagina resulting in intense stimulation and eventual pelvic muscle contraction in men and little stimulation to women. The positioning of the F area for intense stimulation results in timing problems for many men, for they feel a loss of control when the F area is ‘stimulated while their partner receives much less stimulation. Her Ñ area (or clitoral area) is usually not stimulated to the same degree as the male’s F area, so her orgasmic contractions are relatively delayed if not nonexistent.

A new posture, a posture of the future, allows a positioning of the F and Ñ areas together. This posture allows for long and intense stimulation that promotes both the organ part of orgasm and psychasm as well. Described in Chapter Eight, this posture allows for a juxtaposing of the F and Ñ areas.

One technique I have taught my patients for discovering the F area is as follows. The wife places her fingers just behind the scrotum, gently touching the fingertips to the perineal area or area behind the testicles. With her fingers in this position, the length of the fingers and palm will be in contact with scrotum and the shaft of the penis. With some adjustment of the hand, the lower wrist at the base of the thumb should be in contact with the frenulum or F area. Some men are able to feel their wife’s pulse in this position. It takes practice to develop this level of sensitivity,^but all men can learn this. Unlearning is necessary, too, for most men think that movement is sex, and pelvic thrusting is almost automatic in response to genital contact. Men can learn to lie still and feel. This technique is particularly helpful in learning psychasm. The man can practice this technique himself unless religious beliefs preclude self-stimulation.

The R area relates to the raphe, the line along the scrotum that you can see and feel. The skin on the scrotum is unique on the male body, and it can be sensitive as the labia, or lips, around the vagina. The wife can gendy rub her fingertips back and forth along the center of the scrotum, along the raphe line, and the husband will feel a pleasurable sensation. Again, he must learn to be still instead of active, to receive instead of do. The scrotal skin will seem to wrinkle and shrink as the testicles rise. Another suggestion is for the wife to run the top of her middle fingernail gentiy along this line from behind the scrotum to the front and up the penis. This kind of stimulation will help the man to integrate the scrotum and penis in a total-unit response, replacing the “end of the penis” focus most men have developed.

*118\97\8*

posted by admin on May 18

When your body is poisoned, overloaded with excess food and toxins, your mind at all levels (from the sub-conscious to the super-conscious) is forced to assist emergencies arising in yarious organs of your body. This is an extremely low level of activity of the mind (a fight for survival), perhaps the lowest possible.

To understand better what I am talking about, I give you an example.

Consider that your house is on fire. Without any hesitation, you will direct all your undivided attention and efforts to this emergency. You will try to extinguish the fire, save as many items of value from the house, save yourself, your family and other people in danger. Your mind will be totally engaged in the emergency operation.

It is quite easy to imagine, that it will be impossible for you under such circumstances to direct your mind into a more subtle mode or to creative activity like writing a book, solving complex problem or programming your computer for example, when your house is on fire and you and your family are in danger. Imagine your boss phoning you in the middle of the fire with some ideas for you to work on. You will simply cut all conversation and attend the emergency immediately.

Now let us go back to your body. If it is not pure enough, your mind is busy attending “fires” in various organs. You feel dull and become tired quickly. You have difficulties concentrating. If your body is in the “healing crisis” (simply speaking you feel sick), the least you feel like doing is thinking. You simply cannot think ! Any request for thinking hard is like a telephone from your boss during the fire : your higher mind cuts all communications.

Similar effects can be observed after large meals, when you overload your body with food. According to medical science food should give you energy. But instead, you feel tired and sometimes even sick. Your mind is slow and tired too. Any request for thinking hard, returns as feeling of being sleepy and ready to rest.

In the other extreme, people aiming at the highest possible activity and development of the mind (to the point of complete enlightenment and unification with the entire universe) have to have very pure physical bodies. Masters of yoga in the Himalayas hardly eat anything at all.

*17\96\8*

Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS)