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When to see your doctor

if your child complains of chest pain which is severe;

if your child is also short of breath;

if your child has chest pain following an accident;

if the pain is worse on breathing deeply;

if your child also has a fever or is generally unwell;

if you have any other concerns or questions.

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There are no magic postures for fertility. No matter what you may have heard, there are no secrets about fertility. Mutually pleasing sexuality and intimacy are important, however, and constant focus on fertility can rob your marriage of sexual joy and closeness. Talk with your doctor about the timing issue and make sure he or she is aware that you would also like to have sex as well as have a baby, have fun as well as fertility, to maintain your loving.    

Imagery helps. It is not just pop psychology to suggest that the mind is a powerful instrument for change. Both of you must enjoy the imagery of a child, not the focus on a problem, on succeeding. Talk “as if,” think of “when,” not “what will we do if we fail.”

Speaking of failure, it is important to be realistic. Sometimes, for reasons that are not always understood, couples do not have their own biological children. Planning for a future? together, for growth and joy and optional ways of parenting or giving back to the world, is important not as a surrender strategy, but as a viable if not the most desirable option.

Sometimes, in the focus on fertility, we forget the holistic approach to general health. While there are no magic vitamins or diets that automatically improve fertility, sound nutrition, exercise, prayer or meditation, balance between working and playing, and a large dose of laughter can help anything. Don’t forget these factors in your focus on fertility.

Sometimes, rarely, there are underlying marital or individual psychological problems that get in the way of, not prevent, pregnancy. For both the husband and the wife, unresolved marital and personal problems should be addressed in counseling. I’m not suggesting that personal psychological problems cause infertility. It’s just good common sense to look to your own and your partner’s own general life philosophy and happiness without blame but with support and interest in personal and relationship development.

Some of the steps in Chapter Eight have been very popular with the fertility couples. You may want to open up your own sex clinic and have some fun. You deserve it. Fertility counseling tires you out, angers you, and lets you down. I close this chapter with a report from one of the wives in the fertility program that summarizes the health and sexuality relationship.

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In the privacy of your bedroom, with the door locked, lie side by side naked as a couple. With the husband’s and the wife’s hand, find the little piece of skin that is on the underside of the penis running from the coronal ridge, the edge of the mushroomlike top of the penis, to the penile shaft. In uncircumcised men, it will be necessary to pull the foreskin out of the way gently to find this piece of skin. This is the frenulum, or F area, one of the most erotic of sexual areas for men. During intercourse, this area is typically deeply within the moist and warm vagina resulting in intense stimulation and eventual pelvic muscle contraction in men and little stimulation to women. The positioning of the F area for intense stimulation results in timing problems for many men, for they feel a loss of control when the F area is ‘stimulated while their partner receives much less stimulation. Her Ñ area (or clitoral area) is usually not stimulated to the same degree as the male’s F area, so her orgasmic contractions are relatively delayed if not nonexistent.

A new posture, a posture of the future, allows a positioning of the F and Ñ areas together. This posture allows for long and intense stimulation that promotes both the organ part of orgasm and psychasm as well. Described in Chapter Eight, this posture allows for a juxtaposing of the F and Ñ areas.

One technique I have taught my patients for discovering the F area is as follows. The wife places her fingers just behind the scrotum, gently touching the fingertips to the perineal area or area behind the testicles. With her fingers in this position, the length of the fingers and palm will be in contact with scrotum and the shaft of the penis. With some adjustment of the hand, the lower wrist at the base of the thumb should be in contact with the frenulum or F area. Some men are able to feel their wife’s pulse in this position. It takes practice to develop this level of sensitivity,^but all men can learn this. Unlearning is necessary, too, for most men think that movement is sex, and pelvic thrusting is almost automatic in response to genital contact. Men can learn to lie still and feel. This technique is particularly helpful in learning psychasm. The man can practice this technique himself unless religious beliefs preclude self-stimulation.

The R area relates to the raphe, the line along the scrotum that you can see and feel. The skin on the scrotum is unique on the male body, and it can be sensitive as the labia, or lips, around the vagina. The wife can gendy rub her fingertips back and forth along the center of the scrotum, along the raphe line, and the husband will feel a pleasurable sensation. Again, he must learn to be still instead of active, to receive instead of do. The scrotal skin will seem to wrinkle and shrink as the testicles rise. Another suggestion is for the wife to run the top of her middle fingernail gentiy along this line from behind the scrotum to the front and up the penis. This kind of stimulation will help the man to integrate the scrotum and penis in a total-unit response, replacing the “end of the penis” focus most men have developed.

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To understand better what I am talking about, I give you an example.

Consider that your house is on fire. Without any hesitation, you will direct all your undivided attention and efforts to this emergency. You will try to extinguish the fire, save as many items of value from the house, save yourself, your family and other people in danger. Your mind will be totally engaged in the emergency operation.

It is quite easy to imagine, that it will be impossible for you under such circumstances to direct your mind into a more subtle mode or to creative activity like writing a book, solving complex problem or programming your computer for example, when your house is on fire and you and your family are in danger. Imagine your boss phoning you in the middle of the fire with some ideas for you to work on. You will simply cut all conversation and attend the emergency immediately.

Now let us go back to your body. If it is not pure enough, your mind is busy attending “fires” in various organs. You feel dull and become tired quickly. You have difficulties concentrating. If your body is in the “healing crisis” (simply speaking you feel sick), the least you feel like doing is thinking. You simply cannot think ! Any request for thinking hard is like a telephone from your boss during the fire : your higher mind cuts all communications.

Similar effects can be observed after large meals, when you overload your body with food. According to medical science food should give you energy. But instead, you feel tired and sometimes even sick. Your mind is slow and tired too. Any request for thinking hard, returns as feeling of being sleepy and ready to rest.

In the other extreme, people aiming at the highest possible activity and development of the mind (to the point of complete enlightenment and unification with the entire universe) have to have very pure physical bodies. Masters of yoga in the Himalayas hardly eat anything at all.

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I don’t think we yet have the answer. The risk of infection appears to be small.

There are certainly worse diseases in Australia carrying considerably more risk than causing 27 cases over a two-year period, and we accept them without panic.

It would appear to be impracticable to test all air-conditioning units in all of our public buildings to see whether they harbor any germs.

We just do not have those sort of testing facilities, but, even if we did, and even if large numbers were shown to harbor the organism, the risk appears to be small, and we have, as yet, no technology to eradicate the germ from this area.

Research has shown the organism may also be present in other collections of water, and it may well be that these are more important than air-conditioning units.

Time will undoubtedly lead to further explanation about this new (or old but previously unrecognised) germ, and how it can affect our health.

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Most of the problems arise with minors and are concerned with the doctor’s suggesting a form of treatment, such as blood transfusion, with which the parents cannot agree.

In these circumstances, in most States, the law allows the doctor to move to have the child declared a ward of the State and then to seek permission to carry out the procedure.

This may not be acceptable to those parents who have a moral objection to the treatment, but does seem to satisfy majority public opinion.

The wishes of the parents cannot be automatically over-ruled; the doctor must obtain a second opinion and be able to show that his treatment is necessary to save life.

Some doctors are worried by the threat of later legal action should they accede to the wishes of their patient and withhold treatment which may be standard in the circumstances.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses have prepared a standard release form waiving their rights to sue for negligence when they have withheld permission for treatment, such as transfusion, which the doctor considers necessary-

This approach is an attempt by the group to make known their wishes and to co-operate with the medical profession without compromising what is to them a fundamental belief.

A doctor may disagree with their beliefs, yet he must respect their right to hold and to practise them.

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Precautions

•     Reye’s syndrome has been linked to the use of aspirin during influenza. Although a cause-and-effect relationship has not been established, aspirin should not be given if your child is suspected of having influenza. Watch for signs of complications and report them to your doctor.

•     If there are no complications, the fever accompanying influenza often peaks in two cycles. The child’s temperature is elevated for a day or two, normal for a day, then elevated for a day or two. Do not misinterpret 24 hours of normal temperature as a “cure,” and do not allow your child to resume activities until the temperature is normal for two or more days.

Medical treatment

If there are no complications, the doctor will tell you to continue with the home treatment described above. If complications occur, cultures, blood tests, antibiotics, and hospitalization may be required. Vaccines to prevent influenza are not very helpful for children. The influenza viruses have a number of different strains that change their structures from year to year. Therefore, last year’s vaccine may be useless against this year’s virus. Moreover, reactions to influenza vaccines in children are frequent, although these reactions are rarely serious. At the moment, medical experts advise that only children at special risk from influenza should be immunized annually. The conditions that constitute “special risks” are: rheumatic heart disease, congenital and hypertensive heart disease, cystic fibrosis, severe asthma, tuberculosis, nephrosis, chronic nephritis, chronic diseases of the nervous system, and diabetes.

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Causes of fainting

• An emotional upset.

• Sickening for an acute infection.

• An overheated, ill-ventilated room.

• Prolonged standing, especially on an empty stomach.

• Severe pain.

• Pregnancy.

• Severe anaemia.

• Severe bleeding.

• Adolescence (notably in girls).

• A minor epileptic attack can be mistaken for a faint.

Prevention

The prevention of most of the above is fairly obvious and needs no elaboration. However, if you feel faint or likely to faint here are a few simple preventive hints.

• Always have breakfast if you know you are going to have to stand up for any length of time.

• Ensure that your environment does not become too hot and stuffy.

• As soon as you feel at all like fainting sit down, loosen your tie, belt or any other constricting clothing; get someone to open a window or to take you to an open window or outside the stuffy room. If you feel worse, lie down flat. Within a few minutes you should feel normal again. Look for the cause of the faint and take steps to prevent similar occurrences.

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